Feel It In My Bones
by Nodoubtaboutit18
Summary: AU...It's time for Spencer and Ashley to get reacquainted, but what is Spencer not telling Ashley?
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: heey, so i'm starting this new story. i hope you like it. please review it, so i know whether to continue or not. thanks, much love. enjoy!**

"Carlin! There's a VIP patient in room 203 that they want you to take care of." The nurse commanded. It was unusual to have a nurse push around a doctor but Spencer was a first year intern. The nurses loved fresh meat; they loved how they knew more than the doctors in their intern years.

"Who said? I'm busy doing my own rounds," Spencer said back to the male nurse behind the counter. She was looking through her patient files for the day, hoping to get a good case.

The nurse looked up and smirked "the chief, otherwise known as your mother. She said something like 'shut that famous rock star up and make sure my daughter takes care of it.'"

Spencer rolled her eyes, "why me? I don't have time to step around some rich persons toes. I have too much shit to take care of." Spencer slammed down her patient files and started to walk off, "room 203?" She looked back and the nurse nodded his head yes.

She walked up the stairs to the room and was surprised not to find an entourage outside of the room. "This person can't be that famous," she mumbled to herself. She was hoping that this wouldn't take long because she wanted to get into a good surgery for the day. She grabbed the chart outside of the door and used her back to open the door as she was reading away. "So Ms Davies, I see you have no allergies and you have a possible concussion. Let me check you out." Spencer spoke to the patient while she had her head in the chart getting all the information. She didn't once bother to look up at the patient.

"You would want to check me out? Some pervy doctor I have. Some people never change." Ms Davies chuckled.

Spencer was about to get all doctor on her ass, "excuse me... Ms Davies, wait a second," She finally looked up, "oh my god Ashley? I haven't seen you in forever." Spencer walked up to Ashley and embraced her in a friendly hug.

"Look at you, a big shot doctor now? You are lookin good Carlin." Ashley smiled as she looked at Spencer in her bright white lab coat.

Spencer shook her head and was modest, "oh shush, let me look at your head." Spencer leaned closer to check out the wound on her forehead, "this is going to need stitches. It won't take long. But I saw in your chart that you were in an accident, so I want to check for a possible concussion and head trauma." Spencer smiled at her and walked over to grab supplies to stitch her up.

"Look at you. Getting down to business."

"I just don't want you suffering over there. So car accident? What happened?" Spencer asked as she was throwing on her latex gloves.

"My driver fell asleep at the wheel and next thing I know is I'm in a hospital with all these people trying to get my autograph in the waiting room. Then paparazzi came in, so someone ordered some nurse to hide me here until someone came. And here you are." Ashley sighed with relief. Happy to see an old friend.

Spencer smiled and got closer to Ashley, "this may hurt a little but once I start stitching it up you won't even realize it anymore."

"I trust ya." Ashley looked at Spencer as she went right to work.

Spencer couldn't believe she was working on Ashley right now. She was the last person she expected to see. "You are looking good these days. I saw you on the cover of rolling stones awhile back."

Ashley laughed, "you don't get out much do you?"

Spencer didn't stop working as she smiled, "well this kind of takes up my life, why do you ask?"

"Cause I was on the cover a year ago. Like a good 365 days plus some. But you were never good at lying either Carlin. Or should I say doctor Carlin. You know I don't look good right now."

Ashley wanted to move her head, but Spencer kept it still. "Hey no moving. We will be done soon." Spencer kept stitching her up as she thought about the last time she saw her. With all the dry blood on her face and her clothes looking wrinkled and disheveled, Ashley Davies was still looking damn good.

Ashley wanted to break the silence of the room, "so you became a doctor like you always wanted. I knew you always would, although you were –for some reason always doubtful."

Spencer nodded her head yes, "took long enough but yes. And looks like you went after your dream of being famous. I'm proud of you."

Ashley blushed and she didn't know why, "well nahh I'm not that famous. But thanks." Ashley didn't want this to end here. She just finished touring for the year and she would be in town for awhile. She wanted to reconnect with her college buddy. "Hey I know you are busy but you want to get lunch? I want to catch up. I mean we used to be inseparable and now we barely talk."

Spencer was putting her final touches on Ashley's head. Spencer got one day off a week when she was lucky. She usually spent her days off doing some relaxing or saved it for her someone special. But for some reason she didn't want to tell her that she had someone in her life she was dating. She didn't realize how much she missed her over the past years, so she couldn't do anything but say, "yes of course I will have lunch with you. You probably have some amazing stories to tell."

Ashley smiled and looked into Spencer's blue eyes, "you probably have some better ones."

"All done." Spencer smiled as she took off her latex gloves and threw them in the trash. Spencer wasn't sure what Ashley meant by the previous comment but she decided to let it roll off her shoulders.

Spencer was distracted by Ashley and almost forgot to finish her job. "Oh and I want to get you a head scan just to be on the safe side." Spencer scribbled notes into the patient's file.

Ashley held out her hand and shook her head, "not necessary my friend. It was just a tiny bump, plus if anything goes wrong I have a reason to call up doctor Carlin."

Spencer smiled and bashfully looked at the ground. "Oh stop it. You can call me regardless. Oh and call me Spencer, please. Knock off this doctor shenanigans."

Ashley laughed, "Its weird saying doctor Carlin when it's not to your mother. How is Paula doing?"

"Probably still hating you. Since that weekend we came home from college and you broke her antique vase all drunk, remember that?"

She burst out laughing recollecting old times. She hasn't laughed like that in a long time. It is hard finding good friends on the road, "oh god how can I forget? I remember being so wasted I thought it was a good idea to super glue it back together. Thinking she wouldn't notice of course."

Spencer started in on the laughter as she interjected, "and then you super glued your hand to a piece!" They both paused for laughter and Ashley continued telling the story, "and your mom had to come downstairs and get my hand unglued. She was so pissed. I remember her yelling at you 'this is the amazing friend made? Dumb drunks? Spencer, my fucking heirloom vase passed down from 3 generations destroyed!'"

"Then we laughed after she finished yelling, which pissed her off more. I figured she was just going to rip off your hand with her piece of heirloom vase." The laughter died down and Spencer took a seat on the stool. Her stomach hurt they were laughing so hard. "Man I haven't laughed that hard in a long time."

Ashley smiled and couldn't help but notice the beauty Spencer held as she sat there. She always was pretty but all these years apart, she seemed to be even prettier if that was even possible. "So can we have this catch up lunch date…like pronto? I want to hear everything about what is going on in your life. If there is someone special or what."

Spencer stood up and smiled, "I wish I could. I have about 12 more hours of my shift left." She decided to dodge the question about the person in her life. She wondered why Ashley was so interested in that aspect of her life; she wasn't sure how she was going to break the news to her about who she was dating. She wasn't sure if that was going to go over so well. Spencer didn't want to wait any longer to get reacquainted with her old best friend. But she had responsibilities now, she had to stick around and finish her shift.

"How long do these head scans take?" Ashley questioned. She had something up her sleeve.

Spencer didn't think anything of it "depends how quick I can get you into one. I would say probably about an hour or two at the most since you aren't in critical condition or anything."

"And will you get to do it?"

"They have a tech person that does it. But since I'm the intern stuck to this case then I have to be in the room and take you there and stuff like that." Spencer looked at the clock and walked to the phone hanging on the wall, "so I take it you changed your mind about the scan?"

"Since it means more time spent with you, I am willing to do it." Ashley smiled at Spencer, she didn't know what she was feeling but it was nice.

Spencer shook her head, "good I was hoping you were going to come around and listen to your doctor. Let me call the tech and see what's up."

"Take your time doc." Ashley rested her head on the stiff hospital pillow as she watched Spencer. She couldn't take her eyes off her old friend; the beauty that exuded from her was heart stopping. Ashley closed her eyes and thought how getting in the car accident was the best thing that has happened to her in a long while.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: heeyy guys, thanks for the feedback and for reading my story. i appreciate it**, **thanks dudes. i'm working on this story and i'm working on kinks in it, i know it may seem boring, but stick with it. i always do love my cliffhangers. but anyways... Oh oh! to those of you who spotted the tegan and sara song as my story title props to you!! i'm on a tegan and sara kick...as i patiently await the concert in march. i'm uber excited to go see them live. yaay okay enuf babbling about me, i'm sure you wanna read the story now. **

**much love.  
**

Spencer was all smiles for the rest of the day. Usually she walked around the hospital on a mission to find the best surgical case, but today she was just...happy. She couldn't believe she just ran into one of her long lost friends and it was Ashley.

She spent the entire day reminiscing about their memories together, and she couldn't help but smile all day about them.

She walked into room 203 where Ashley had been hiding out all day. Spencer will admit she did take longer than she had to with getting Ashley a head scan, and she did take extra long grabbing her x-rays and consulting with her mother about them.

Usually she wanted to get off a case as quick as possible if it didn't have anything to deal with surgery, but she wanted to hang around Ashley as long as she possibly could.

"So is this the rock star making all the commotion in my hospital?" Paula grabbed the x-rays from Spencer and looked at them under the light. "Hmm," she pondered aloud. She tapped her foot for a few seconds as she stared at the multiple sheets of x-rays. Paula continued to speak, "She is all clear, looks good to me. You can send that pain in the ass on her way."

Spencer wondered if she even knew it was Ashley, "So do you know who it is? The famous person in your hospital?"

Paula handed the x-rays back to Spencer and walked over to her desk, "Should I care? I have a hundred other patients in this hospital that have more pressing illness' than being a loud mouth rock star. All I know is Sue from the board of directors, her daughter loves whoever it is and wants an autograph. So make that happen."

Spencer rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Why do I have to?" Spencer knew she was going to do what her mother wanted no matter how hard to protested. So before she even decided to put up the fight she caved, "Whatever."

She stood up behind her desk, "Because I asked you to and um it would be nice to keep the board happy, you know."

As Spencer walked away she heard her mother pick up the phone and start laughing away with whoever she was trying to impress these days. She hated how fake her mother was sometimes. She used to care about people, she used to want to help them, now all she does is people please. Ever since they announced her chief of surgery two years ago, she has been different. The youngest chief in the history of the hospital, how did she get it? Probably slept with half the board members, or so she thought.

"Hey I have good news and bad news," Spencer probably figured that was a bad way to start out a sentence with a patient.

Ashley stared at her with wide eyes, looking a tad worried. "What? Oh my God, do I have a fucking tumor?" Ashley proclaimed as she grabbed her head.

Spencer let out a chuckle, "A bit melodramatic over there, no you do not have a tumor. Good news: you are all clear to leave you are healthy as can be. And bad news: our fun time is over," she sighed. She did not want to finish the rest of her shift.

She badly wanted to play hooky for the rest of the day and hang out with Ashley. For some reason she just wanted to center her days around this girl. It was an odd feeling.

"Damn, at the quality fun time being over not the whole I don't have a tumor thing. Because I'm glad about the tumor thing not the whole fun time disappearing thing." Ashley looked out of the corner of her eye wondering if she made any sense. It was unlike her to stumble over her words and she definitely just babbled the hell out of her last sentences.

Spencer smiled and held up her hand, "Stop talking. I might think you have a brain tumor if you keep speaking. I understand what you are saying but I am going to get the nurse in here to have you sign some release forms and have you on your way."

Spencer looked around the room, she was having a hard time leaving Ashley's presence.

Ashley was having a hard time not staring at Spencer. She used to have this crush on her back in the day and all of those feelings she thought she repressed and forgot about, were suddenly surfacing. "Oh okay." Ashley said in the saddest tone.

"Hey don't sound so sad to be leaving the hospital." Spencer said as she was putting away things in the drawer and handing

Ashley her clothes. "Oh here some assistant dropped off these clothes for you to wear out of the hospital. He said something about looking decent for all the paparazzi standing outside the hospital."

Ashley sighed in anger, "You know sometimes I want to look like shit."

"What?" Spencer laughed out.

"Seriously. I can't ever look like shit, or I'll be thrown on a magazine cover with the headline like 'Ashley Davies downward spiral?' or in one of those 'stars are like us!' pages. I just want to wear this damn gown out of the hospital and go to bed, looking like shit then wake up looking like shit." Ashley pouted out as she started to move off of her hospital bed.

"You know the gown is open in the back? So the whole world would get to see Ashley Davies up close and personal." Spencer laughed out.

"Oh well, hey I wouldn't mind. Instead I have to put on these clothes." Ashley angrily grabbed at them and took off her gown. Spencer was still looking at Ashley because she took off the hospital gown so quickly, but she didn't turn away either.

She watched Ashley get dressed and she couldn't help but think how beautiful she was. She definitely has gotten more toned since their college days and tan. She was looking so good, Spencer couldn't help but stare and subconsciously licking her lips.

Ashley wasn't one to be modest and once she noticed Spencer was staring she had to say something, "So you see something you like Carlin?" She raised a brow in question, only half kidding.

Spencer blushed and quickly turned her head to the side, "Oh sorry, I just--um--I sorry. I'm a doctor so it's okay, I was--I'll leave you to changing. Um, the nurse will be in shortly."

Ashley was only joking when she was giving Spencer shit, but once she saw her freak out she knew Spencer was seriously staring at her. It kind of made her happy in a way, knew it gave her a chance with this girl. It has only been a day seeing her, but she knew she wanted her and bad. It was hard to explain the feeling. The feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you just know it has to be right. She felt all the crush like symptoms she had for this girl come rushing back to the surface.

"I was only kidding," Ashley said to ease the air since neither of them have moved. Ashley was still half dressed and Spencer was still blushing in the corner, inching her way to the door. But she didn't want to leave yet because she wanted to stare at the hot girl before her.

"I should get back to work." Spencer grabbed a hold of the door and then just as she was about to leave she remembered something, "Oh shit, can you like give me an autograph?"

"What?" Ashley made a confused facial expression at her.

"Well it's not for me, it's for someone up high in the hospital chain, please?" Spencer gave her a pout, knowing very well she couldn't resist.

"Of course, well on one condition."

Spencer knew she had to get the autograph so she had to agree to it, "Name it."

Ashley smiled, "Sweet, well when you finish your shift you have to promise me you will come to my house and hang out. No matter how late it is, doesn't matter."

Spencer knew she should probably go home and rest up before her shift tomorrow, but she didn't care honestly. She wanted to hang out with her as much as Ashley wanted to hang out with her. She knew she shouldn't agree to it, but she had to and wanted to. "Sounds like a deal."

Ashley jumped with joy, "Awesome, tell me where to give you my autograph and I will give you my address. You have a car?

Or you want me to send someone?" Ashley said as she was looking around for a pen and paper.

"I umm I have a car, just give me your address I'll find it." Spencer smiled she was suddenly looking forward to her shift getting over. Usually she enjoys every minute of her shift but now she will be counting the minutes for it to be over.

"Awesome, Spencer and Ashley together again. This should be fun." Ashley smirked as she finished changing.

Spencer trotted out of the room happy as ever. She knew she had been missing something the past few years maybe this was it. Maybe all this time when she felt that something was missing out of her life, maybe it was just her friend. Ashley Davies did always make things better and a tad bit more fun. She was probably the best friend she had ever had, no one had ever replaced her.

It was time for Spencer to clock out of her shift and it couldn't have come any slower. The time moved throughout the day like molasses. "Hell yeah!" Spencer shouted when her shift was finally over.

Her fellow doctor smiled and asked, "So Spencer I've never seen you so happy to see a shift end before. You going to see your special someone?"

Spencer got all shifty eyed and smiled, "Something like that. I'm out of here as soon as I give something to the chief." She ran up the steps as fast as she could to hand off this autograph to her mother.

"Here." She said to her mom as she threw it on her desk and turned around to walk right back out the door.

"Wait a sec, where are you running off to so quick?" Paula sat down in her chair and crossed her legs. She made dubious eye contact with Spencer and waited for her daughter to stick around and talk to her.

"I have plans, so there's your autograph. I've got to go." Spencer said coldly. She wasn't always this cold towards her mom, but Paula just rubbed her the wrong way these days. She had changed morally and in every which way. Ever since her parents got divorced last year...well she sided with her father and since then it hasn't been the same.

Paula sighed, "Alright, go. I guess I'll just see you at the hospital tomorrow."

"Sure, bright and early." Spencer said as she slammed the door behind her. She probably shouldn't treat her mother this way, but she couldn't help it. She did wrong against her dad and she just wasn't the righteous doctor she once was.

Spencer shrugged off the cold encounter with her mother and then skipped to her car thinking of the fun night she had ahead of her. She was hanging out with Ashley, so she knew there had to be fun in store. Spencer found Ashley's house with ease, considering she lived in the same big ole mansion she did when they knew each other back in college.

Spencer paced around the porch for a second and wondered if she should go in. She knew she should be at her girlfriend's house right now, like she promised her she would be. _Should I tell her that I am dating someone? Who happens to be a girl? Well I know she doesn't have a problem with it...with all those pictures in the tabloids. I SO know she doesn't have a problem with it. But still, I don't think I can tell her. Just avoid all questions and you are just hanging out with her, right? So me having a girlfriend won't be a big deal. Right? Right._S

The door suddenly flung open, "Um Spencer? How long have you been standing there?"

Spencer suddenly got bright red in the face, "What, who? Um, oh not long at all."

Ashley laughed, "And were you talking to yourself out here? I heard noises..."

"Uh, you going to invite me in?" Spencer smiled, already doing a good job on avoiding all questions.

"Of course, come on in to the lovely house of Davies." Ashley smiled and waved her on in. She couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous blonde she just let into her house. Ashley always had the biggest crush on Spencer back in college, but Spencer was just too blind to even see it.

Spencer walked into her living room and saw a few beer bottles laying on the table, "Um have you been drinking?"

Ashley laughed, "What is that a crime? I was getting nervous you weren't coming, so I had a few. Then a I had a few more."

Ashley plopped down on the couch, "Come sit! Let's catch up buddddddyy."

Spencer shook her head, "I'll sit, but you know after receiving a head injury you shouldn't be drinking, right?"

"Oh shut up Doctor Carlin. Just sit your cute butt down." Ashley heard that slip out of her mouth. But she was getting too drunk to care.

"I assume you mixed the pain meds with the booze, Ash really? Do I have to baby sit now?" Spencer sighed as she plopped down on the couch with her. Ashley instantly scooted closer to her.

"Um no," Ashley laughed, "You can entertain me though." Ashley took her hand and rested it upon Spencer's thigh. Spencer looked at her hand, but chose to just ignore it. It could just be a friendly touch, so she decided to let it slide.

"Ash, you could get really sick doing that shit. But come on let's catch up." Spencer paused, "Wait a second, nervous? Why are you nervous to see me?" Yes, she was taking advantage of the drunk girl before her, but why not poke at the question when she had the opportunity.

Ashley let her had move up and down her thigh as she answered her question, "Well you see, I was just nervous. I haven't see you in a while and I was just like ahhh crazy nervous, ya know?" Ashley was starting to get drunk. Her sentences were getting more erratic.

"So, nervous about what? We have known each other forever and we were like bff or some shit. No need to be nervous in front of me, Ash." Spencer smiled as she casually tried to swat Ashley's hand off her thigh. She couldn't keep letting her make those amazing little circles on her thigh, because she was never going to let her stop. Spencer knew they were sitting too close, they were talking too close, but for some reason it was hard to inch away from her.

"I kind of had this thing...where...never mind." Ashley shied away from fessing up to the crush she used to have...still has on the beautiful blonde girl sitting before her. "I don't feel so good." Ashley made an unpleasant face as she held up her hand to her mouth.

Spencer smiled, "Hey let's get you up to bed, killer. I think I'm going to stay and baby-sit for the night." Spencer held out her

hand to lead Ashley up to her room, "Come on, take my hand." Spencer instantly felt her body warm up when she felt the touch of Ashley. She knew spending the night with Ashley in her bedroom while she was drunk was going to take some serious will power on her behalf.

"Yes, Doctor C." Ashley laughed obnoxiously for no reason at all after she said that, "So can I be your naughty nurse?"


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: it's been awhile i know...i had this typed up on my blackberry word pad forever and i was like heey i should post this shit. i havent used a computer in like FOREVER thank my blackberry for that... so sorry for the lack of updating anything really.**

**i've changed my msn email for those who want to talk to me (but who really wants to do that?) justagirl430 live . com .. i put spaces inbetween because i was spammed by like 500 cyberbots dont get me wrong i'm all for talking to hot chicks and all buuuuut it was odd i couldnt take it so i made me a new email.. so to those who would like to chit chat.. there it is.**

**review please..let me know anyone is still reading and if this is worth continuing.. i still have ideas to where im going with this story. but if no one is reading... so review! much love.**

"Fuck!" Spencer proclaimed in her head. She had said it so loudly in her head she was sure that someone else in the world had to hear. She looked around and quickly started thinking about last night, what did she do? What happened? Then she quickly remembers she wasn't the drunken girl last night, Ashley was.

Spencer smiled once she slowly started to calm herself down and noticed Ashley lying on top of her. Her head was nestled on top of Spencer's chest and one of her legs was draped across Spencer's legs. She smiled at the simple fact that she was cuddling with this beautiful girl. Spencer laid there enjoying the moment, for a moment too long. Reality started to sink in when she started to play with Ashley's curly brown locks.

Spencer pulled herself away from Ashley and slid out of bed, being very careful not to wake sleeping beauty. She tipped toed over to her bag to check her phone. She saw ten missed calls on her screen and again she proclaimed "fuck!" Loud enough in her head to make it hurt. She was checking out her missed calls when she saw an incoming call, Spencer sighed and realized she had to answer it.

She walked all the way in the corner of the room and whispered, "Hey babe, what's up? I know, I should have called I'm sorry. I was just taking care of an old friend. Of course ill have dinner with your sister tonight, yup you too." Spencer hung up the phone and noticed Ashley sitting up on the bed. Spencer stood there wondering how much of the conversation she actually heard.

"I figured you were dating someone." Ashley said in a husky morning voice.

Spencer let out a light smile, "oh yeah I forgot to mention that, my bad." She nervously laughed.

"It was either that or you weren't into my awesome drunk moves. And I know how much you can't resist me like back-"

Spencer cut her off, "I get it. You are hot, awesome, and famous what girl wouldn't want you?" Spencer started to sound defensive.

"You." One simple whisper of a word silenced the whole room. Ashley sighed and held her stomach, "I'm fucking starving. You wanna do breakfast?"

Spencer was actually quite hungry herself. She never ate after her shift last night and after that she had to deal with drunken Ashley, which left time for no midnight snacks. "Yes, I could do a pancake or some scrambled eggs or something."

Ashley smiled, "awesome, you know a good place around here? I haven't been around in awhile."

As Spencer walked closer to the bed she could feel Ashley's eyes all over her. She knew how badly Ashley wanted her, it showed last night. But Spencer realized she wasn't giving her the "go away" signs, because she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. She needed to stop thinking so much.

"So? Is that a no?"

"Oh what?" Spencer completely spaced out and didn't know what Ashley had asked her.

"You know a good breakfast place? Still not a morning person I see." Ashley laughed as she got up to walk to the bathroom.

Spencer blushed, "oh right yeah that never changed. But yes I know the perfect place actually."

"Perfect!" Ashley shouted as she walked into the bathroom for her morning pee.

Spencer didn't realize what time it was and honestly didn't care. She was finally going to get time to catch up with her friend. She sat on Ashley's bed as she waited for her to get ready. She looked around the room and realized there were tons of pictures of her. The time they went to the beach, the time they egged Paula's car, which by the way made it into the top amazing pranks of all times.

"Whatca lookin' at?" Ashley curiously asked as she stepped back into the room.

Spencer laughed, "All of these amazing photos we took of my mom's car egged and plastic wrapped. Boy did we have some good times together." Spencer said as she pointed too all of the frames and pictures.

"And we are going to start making more."

Spencer raised a brow, "hmm?"

"Get used to me girlfriend, I am back in your life and we are going to tear down the town in the process." Smirked Ashley as she took hold of Spencer's hand and dragged her out the door.

Spencer smiled at the soft touch of Ashley's hand. But then she suddenly knew she had to stop cheesing. She felt as if she was cheating on her girlfriend, or at least her mind was. She hadn't done anything physical; it was just her mind that was doing all the cheating. And she needed to stop.

"So you are going to wear those ridiculous sunglasses and baseball hat?" Spencer asked as they were sitting in the car in front of the diner.

Ashley nodded, "I have to, unless you want a billion people coming up to me and interrupting our breakfast. And I'm too damn hung over for that shit."

"Okay well if you are going to wear a baseball hat at least take off that disgusting Dodgers one. Hold on," Spencer reached in the back of her car and dug around. Ashley couldn't help but stare at the view she was getting as Spencer dug around. Her shirt came up ever so slightly and Ashley could see Spencer's pierced belly button. She smiled at how cute it looked.

"Ah ha!" Spencer proclaimed. "I found my lucky hat here," Spencer took off the dodger's hat and tossed it in her backseat. "Wear this." She said as she shoved the hat on Ashley's head before she could even get out a word of protest.

"White sox?" Ashley questioned.

"Hell yes, my number one team. I couldn't ever stop loving them since when I grew up in Chicago as a kid." Spencer smiled and looked at Ashley in her old school white sox hat. She looked damn adorable in it, "looks good on you." Spencer let slip with a smile.

Ashley grinned, "Well ill wear it, only because it's your favorite hat."

They both sat there and stared at each other for a second, probably wondering how good each other was in bed. "So let's eat damnit. I'm hungry as fuck." Ashley muttered as she hopped out of the car.

Spencer soon followed her into the diner. The place was nearly empty, so chances of anyone recognizing her were low. "Hey girl!" The server shouted as Spencer walked in.

"Hey Carmen, how are you doing today?" Spencer asked as she gave her a friendly hug.

"I'm doing good. You are looking good, its been awhile. Just you and your friend today?" Carmen said friend as if she was trying to pry into her life and see who the mystery girl in the baseball hat was.

"Yup just us." Spencer said as they walked to the nearest booth by the window.

They both sat down and Ashley immediately started speaking, "soo who was that?"

Spencer shrugged and picked up her menu and nonchalantly said, "oh just someone I used to date."

Ashley pushed down the menu and looked at her in the eyes, "wait what?"

"Just someone I used to date. No big deal." Spencer smiled.

"Yes it is, when you totally could do better than her," Ashley instantly felt jealous and she didn't know why. "I hope whoever you are dating now is better than that." Ashley scoffed.

Spencer sighed, "I guess, can we drop it and just eat?" She was starting to get frustrated. Carmen wasn't that bad. She only dated her for a year or so, she was her first girlfriend after all. So the way Ashley was putting her down, was kind of a big deal to her.

"So what can I get you two?" Carmen smiled as she slid into the booth next to Spencer. "That's my favorite." Carmen claimed as she pointed to the item in Spencer's menu.

"I'll take it then," Spencer politely smiled.

"Awesome and for you?" Carmen asked as she wrote it down in her pad never making eye contact with Ashley.

"Well guess I'll have the same." Ashley smiled as she handed Carmen the menu.

As soon as the server left the table Ashley spoke, "what's with the flirting over there?"

"Shut up there was none. I was being polite." Spencer said as she started playing with the salt shaker.

"You dumped her didn't you? I think she still likes you." Ashley stated. She didn't know why she was attacking Spencer. This was unlike her.

"Yeah, so? Could you stop acting like a jealous girlfriend?"

Ashley lowered her eyes like a puppy in trouble, "oh alright, I'm just curious is all."

"Well if you must know, she was my first girlfriend. We dated for a year, I broke up with her. There." Spencer crossed her arms after she finished speaking.

"Okay, sorry for asking. But um why the break up? She obviously still wants you. And who can blame her?" Ashley let out a nervous laugh wondering if the previous comment was a little too much.

"Ah well I couldn't love her. I don't know what it was. There was just a spark missing." Spencer sighed as she took a sip of her drink.

Ashley tried to hide her happy smirk that was exactly what she wanted to hear. She was sad and all things didn't work out...let's be real she was damn happy things didn't work out.

"Hey do you have a shift at the hospital today?" Ashley asked to break the tension at the table.  
Spencer's face lit up, "fuck!" Spencer had yelled that enough times today it was starting not to sound like a word anymore.

Ashley squinted her eyes, made an unpleasant face, and held her hands up to her ears, "shit Carlin, could you yell that any louder?" Perhaps it was just her hung over ears that made it seem like a very high decibel yell, but Spencer did shout fuck at the top of her lungs.

"Sorry, I thought I was yelling it in my head again."

"What?" Ashley asked in confusion.

She shook her head, "never mind. I'm going to be late and Paula is going to kill me." Spencer started to panic.

"Chill Spencer. It's going to be fine, you can leave me here I can call my assistant to pick me up." Ashley said in a sad tone. Not that she had to call someone to pick her up, it was the fact Spencer was leaving.

"No, no. We will figure something out. Let me call Carmen over," Spencer looked around the diner in search for her, "hey babe can you come here for a quick second?" Spencer smiled.

Ashley peered over at Spencer, "so you just call everyone your baby?"

Spencer laughed, "nah just the ones I've slept with or when I'm in a hurry, like now."

"Soo you should call me baby then." Ashley said with a suggestive tone.

"Funny." Spencer stated. "Hey Carmen," as she emphasized Carmen she looked over at Ashley, "can I get our breakfast to go I'm in a hurry, please?" She pleaded.

Carmen winked, "anything for my favorite girl."

Spencer knew Ashley was about to say something so she had to interject first, "don't you dare say a word."

Ashley closed her mouth really tight and tried hard not to laugh, "oh nope I wasn't even going to doctor."

Spencer shook her head and thanked Carmen for getting her food up so quickly.  
They both walked out to Spencer's car, "hey ash thanks for grabbing breakfast. Next meal is so on me."

Ashley rolled her eyes and put her hand up, "oh stop it, you know I got you. Plus if I can't spend my money on a pretty lady then who can I spend it on?" She smiled and looked at her in the eyes.

Spencer sighed and knew she had to draw a line on Ashley coming on to her. As much as she liked it, it wasn't fair to her girlfriend. "Ash..."

She heard the tone in the blonde's voice and cut her off before she could get out another word, "I know. You have a girlfriend; I shouldn't be saying such things."

"Yeah." Spencer sighed out with a hint of disappointment in her voice. She kind of liked having Ashley want her. It was part of the Davies charm.

"So how do you drive this thing?" Ashley laughed. Spencer gave her a nervous look before she began speaking again, "kidding. It has been awhile but I think I can still drive."

Spencer laughed and buckled up as soon as she said that. "Um think?"

As soon as they pulled up to the hospital Spencer jumped out of the car like a bat out of hell, "never again will I let you drive my car!"

Ashley burst out laughing as she slapped the steering wheel, "it wasn't that bad, Spence."

Spencer was pacing around the car and walked all the way to the driver's side and whipped open the door, "get out. You are so taking a cab home. Just a little rusty my ass." Spencer grumbled to herself.  
Ashley still couldn't stop laughing at how cutely flustered she was, "oh alright cab it is." She hopped out of the car and handed the blonde her keys.

"Thank you. Now I'm guna be late I'll call you later." Spencer smiled as she still stood there. She couldn't bring herself to walk away for some reason.

Ashley broke the stare and started talking, "well hey you want to come over again tonight? I promise I won't be drunk this time." Ashley smiled wide.

"Oh well I have this dinner thing with my girlfriend and her family. Maybe after?" Spencer couldn't believe she just said that. She has to hang out with her girlfriend after dinner not Ashley.

"Deal. Call me when you get off." Ashley smirked at her dirty thoughts when she saw Spencer blush...

"Off work."

Spencer let out a slight laugh, "always got to end it on a dirty thought Davies."

Ashley smiled and leaned in for a hug. As they hugged Spencer felt something she hadn't in years. It was like a spark gone through her body and her blood was instantly boiling. She held the hug a little too long, but she couldn't seem to push away the embrace.

To hell if Ashley was pushing away first. She could stand here all day enjoying the smell of the blonde's hair and her warming touch. Ashley knew she had to get this girl, she felt it in her bones.

One intern was running by Spencer when she noticed her, "hey! Doctor Carlin your ass is going to be late."

Startled by the sound of someone catching her in this long embrace she jumped out of Ashley's arms.

She smiled and waved good bye and quickly darted inside the hospital where she could put her head into clear cut science.

"Nice of you to join us Carlin." The attending said in a stern tone.

"Yeah, sorry." Spencer said all flustered.

"Psst. Hey." Her fellow intern whispered, "Did I see you outside with some hottie? Did you snag some one night stand hottie?"

Spencer hit the arm of her fellow doctor, "shut up. Remember I have a girlfriend? She's just an old friend."

"I wish all my old friends hugged me like that. I'd be one happy guy." Doctor Dennison laughed out.

Spencer sighed, "Sure is." She didn't want to talk anymore. She wanted to absorb the feeling of Ashley all day. There was something about that girl that always had her thinking.

"Dr Carlin! Get over here." She heard a stern tone in the girl's voice. She immediately jumped and turned around. Her frightful gaze slowly turned into a smile.

"Hey, what's going on?" Spencer asked coyly. Knowing very well she was going to be in trouble.

"Your ass did not come over last night and you didn't call. I was worried sick, Spencer." Her girlfriend said as she inched closer. "Hey I have a little time before my surgery let's go somewhere quiet." She said with a smirk.

Spencer usually would be happy to get some mid-day lovin' but today was not that day. Her head was jumbled with thoughts of last night, flashbacks of college; the last thing she wanted was to fool around with her girlfriend.

"I got a few minutes, and I know that's all you need," Spencer laughed out. She didn't want to have her girlfriend know anything was up so she had to play along.

Spencer's girlfriend took her by the hand and threw her in the supply closet. Despite the fact her mind was on Ashley she thought this was pretty hot.

Spencer felt her girlfriend's lips on hers, but that's it. She barely kissed back or felt anything. She had always had this feeling -or lack of feeling with her but she pushed it aside. She figured with time what her girlfriend felt for her, she would too eventually.

Her girlfriend stopped kissing her, "hey before I forget when your shift ends meet me at my car we have to go to dinner with my sister."

Spencer cringed, "really? I was hoping we could you know...not."

"Funny, but no. You are stuck doing it, you promised for months." She kissed Spencer again after she spoke.

Spencer's pager started beeping, "damnit, the chiefs looking for me." Spencer tried to sound extremely disappointed they couldn't fool around.

Her girlfriend pouted, "But I wanted to have some fun before my ten hour surgery."

Spencer smiled and gently kissed her in the cheek, "oh you'll have some fun later babe." She winked and walked out of the room.

Spencer couldn't help but thank her mother the entire time she walked to her office. She didn't know what was wrong with her.


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: i've been slacking on writing. i'm sorry guys. Well to those who are still reading what I write, thank you. It means a lot. And and and, i greatly appreciate feedback and reviews. Much Love.**

"You paged?" Spencer spoke as she walked into the chief s room.

"Yes. Did I thank you for that signed photo? If I didn't thanks again, it means a lot the daughter or whoever the hell wanted it. All I really know is it made me look good." She smiled as she clicked through files on her computer simultaneously.

"Is that all you wanted? To tell me thanks again?" Spencer spoke in a pissed off tone, but honestly she was happy she didn't have to spend time with her girlfriend-as bad as that sounded.

The Chief still didn't bother looking up at her daughter. Whatever she was doing always seemed to be more important. "No, no. That isn't all. I saw a case today that I want to assign you to. Here are her files. It looks like it's going to be surgical, so have at it." She held up the file, still no eye contact.

"Why?" Spencer walked over and grabbed it. Her mother just doesn't go handing her cases, why this one?

"It's a good learning surgery. The chances of her living through this heart condition are rare. We need to figure out what's happening to her. I thought you'd like a challenge." She smirked and finally looked her daughter in the eyes. "I've figured out the condition but it took hours of research. It's a learning hospital, so get to it." She went back to her computer typing and clicking away.

Spencer turned and walked out of her office. She flipped through the file as she was walking down the hallway. She could barely concentrate on what she was reading. She barely knew what an EKG was at the moment. She only knew one thing, Ashley. It's only been a few days since she has seen her again, but all sorts of weird emotions kept popping up. She couldn't take it.

Surgery. Surgery. That is constant. She needed to go watch a surgery or figure out some rare condition no one ever comes across. She couldn't bear the thought of reading medical books all day. She barely wanted to be in the hospital. Spencer decided to go watch her girlfriend's surgery. It was better than staring into medical jargon filled books all day. Plus, she should go watch her girlfriend's surgery. She needs to be thinking about her more anyways.

Spencer trotted down the hallway with file in hand. She felt a little better she had a plan.

"Hey wait up!" She heard a familiar voice shout her name behind her. She couldn't help but roll her eyes as she heard him running towards her.

"What?" She exclaimed as she continued to walk. She didn't bother waiting.

"You've got to tell me about the hottie you were practically dry humping in the parking lot." Dr. Dennison smiled as he caught his breath.

"No." Spencer firmly stated. "Plus there is nothing to tell, Aiden." She continued to walk.

"Come on, there is a story there." He pulled on her lab coat, like a puppy.

"What do you want to know?" She stopped, cocked her head to the side, and stared at him.

"Well, dirty one night stand? Going to break up with Doctor fucking hot ass?" He smiled as he pictured Spencer's girlfriend, probably naked.

She gently hit his shoulder, "Perv. Nope it wasn't a one night stand this time." Damnit she let it slip.

"What?" He laughed out as he held his stomach, "this time? HA I knew it."

Spencer looked wide-eyed. Deer in the headlights look. Why did she just slip up? She hasn't told anyone about that day. She has wanted to talk to someone about it forever. Mainly the person she had the one night stand with, but they picked up- it's the wrong time to talk about it.

"Yeah so what, it was a long time ago."

"Define a long time ago. And if you want to talk about the dirty details, I'll gladly listen." He smiled as he touched her arm gently.

She laughed out, "Oh you would love that wouldn't you. It wasn't dirty-it was sweet, gentle...that's here nor there." She needs to stop thinking about it. Emotions were running strong again. She has no idea why she is talking to Aiden of all people about this. He's been a pervert intern the entire time she has known him, but strangely he seemed as fucked up as she was and they clicked. "But a long time ago, as in like college. There you happy?"

He thought about it for a second, "Well if you could just give a little bit of the sweet intimate girl on girl detail, it probably would make my day." He laughed for a second as he tried to imagine it.

She shook her head and continued walking, "You're a devil, and you know that? I'm late."

"For what? I saw the board today. I know you aren't assigned to anyone's service today. So what are you late for?"

Spencer was about to get annoyed really quick, "I don't understand why you even fucking care. But I'm going to go watch a surgery and take some tips. I suggest you should learn something instead of following me around and asking me all these little annoying questions about my personal life." She looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

"Damn, this girl got you fucked up in the head again." Aiden laughed out.

"Fuck you, Aiden. Just leave me alone." Spencer started walking faster and more meaningful.

"But if you want to talk about it..." Aiden's voice started trailing as he fell behind her pace. He didn't continue following her as he looked at his watch and ran in the opposite direction.

"Finally." Spencer thought. She had no idea why she just admitted to the one night stand she had with Ashley years upon years ago. She hadn't told anyone, let alone talked about it since that night it happened. She never got to talk about it the next day either-Spencer stopped herself from thinking about it again. It screws with her emotions too much right now, and she can't handle that.

"I have to go watch my girlfriend's surgery. I have to go do that. Then go hang out with her sister. Meet the family. Family reunion. On second thought, surgery. Then nap." Spencer just repeated a list of chores in her head for the day. It kept her thoughts straight. Kept her thoughts out of Ashley. That's how she needed it to be. Just like it used to be a few days ago.

She sat down in the gallery and peered over at her girlfriend. Somehow Spencer's girlfriend felt her presence and she looked up in the gallery. Spencer couldn't see through her surgical mask, but she knew she was smiling at her. Spencer smiled back. She felt happy. She was content with her. She knew her girlfriend loved her that was enough. She watched her surgery continue on a young patient and yet thoughts of Ashley kept peeking into her brain. Spencer's brain was a funny thing. She shook them out every so often.

_"I know you feel it too. I know you're scared." Ashley whispered into her ear._

_Spencer smiled. "I don't know why I wasted all those years dating men, when deep down I knew I was gay." Spencer laughed out as she took another shot of whatever booze she had._

_"Wait what? I feel what too?" Spencer finally caught on._

_Ashley shook her head. "Nothing." Ashley was too scared to admit it now._

_"Aw, come on. We're roommates. Best friends. You can tell me anything. Or tell me what we're both feeling?" Spencer scrunched her face as she started to confuse herself._

_"Nah, you're drunk. It can wait." Ashley said as she crawled back into bed._

_Spencer waited a minute and then crawled into bed with Ashley._

_Ashley laughed, "Really?"_

_"I can't leave until we figure out what you're feeling." Spencer smiled._

_"You sound so therapist-like. You sure you want to be a surgeon and not a therapist? You got it down pat." Ashley smiled as she tucked a strand of Spencer's hair behind her ear._

_"Yesssssss. Positive." Spencer smirked, "Spill."_

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm positive." Spencer kept repeating.

"What?"

"What?" Spencer woke up from her dream. She looked around extremely alert. She knew what she was dreaming, but she didn't know what she just said in her half-sleeping state.

Her girlfriend started playing with Spencer's hair, "Oh nothing. You just kept repeating the word yes, you must have been dreaming." She said sweetly as she leaned in a kissed Spencer on the forehead gently.

"Oh, probably." It was more like a flashback, Spencer thought to herself.

"Hey, you. You need to get ready for my family/sister reunion. I am so excited for her to finally meet her. She's like awesome; you two will get along great. She's moving back to here too. It's-I'm so excited. I rarely get to see her. I'm just so excited."

Spencer laughed, You get so cute when you get excited." She held her girlfriend's hand as she laid there in the cold hospital cot.

She smiled at the compliment, "I just always thought if the girl that I love and my sister could be friends, I'd be the happiest person alive."

Spencer wasn't sure how to react to the statement. She loved her girlfriend, but for some reason she wasn't sure what love felt like anymore. "I'm excited to meet her too." Spencer wasn't sure how long these weird Ashley feelings were going to stick around, but she had a great thing going and has for awhile now. So she needed to push whatever her mind was doing aside.

"Is this dress fine?" Spencer came out of her closet and twirled around for her girlfriend.

"God, I can't wait to fucking take that off you later." Her girlfriend smiled as she walked up to her. She couldn't take her hands off of Spencer. She deeply kissed her as Spencer kissed back. Then she started pushing her off once her hands started wandering up her dress.

"Come on, please? We didn't get to finish earlier. And you left me thinking about this all day." Her girlfriend smiled as she tried inching her to their bed. Spencer sat on the bed. She thought about giving in, just going for it. But her head wasn't in it still. She was still obsessing about one person and it wasn't her girlfriend, and it drove her crazy.

"We're going to be late." Spencer quietly said as she gently pushed her girlfriend off.

"Ah you're right. You know you're getting it later." She smirked as she hopped off the bed and went to the bathroom to finish her makeup.

Spencer knew she couldn't hold out all day. She had sex with her girlfriend at least twice a day sometimes even more. If she holds out for more than a day or two, it will begin to look suspicious and out of character.

"Ready?"

"You look gorgeous." Spencer told her girlfriend. What? She did. She had a hot girlfriend and her mind needs to start thinking about that.

It was a long car ride to the restaurant they were meeting her sister at. Spencer sat in the passenger seat, gazing out the window at the stars and city lights. She hated how the light pollution clouded up the starry nights. Looking up at the stars always put her mind at ease. Knowing that there is infinite space up there, quiet, calm, peaceful. She always wished she was a star sometimes. To shine so bright yet be so serene.

"Think she'll like me?" Spencer turned and looked at her girlfriend.

"She has to." She smiled as she held Spencer's hand on the gear shift.

"Ah! I see her standing at the bar waiting for us." Spencer's girlfriend excitedly shouted as she grabbed her hand and dragged her through the crowd. "I haven t' seen her in years, this is so exciting!" She continued to shout over the crowd as Spencer could barely make out a word she was saying.

"Ahhh!"

"Ahhh!"

Both sisters screamed and hugged each other as Spencer was lost in the crowd. Somehow in the excitement Spencer's girlfriend lost her hand and she couldn't fight through the crowd alone. All Spencer heard were both girls screaming with excitement. She still couldn't manage to push her way through the angry mob. But she heard her girlfriend's voice.

"GO TO OUR FAVORITE BOOTH!"

Spencer knew where that was, now she had to push her way through the massive amounts of people surrounding the bar, and onto the restaurant crowd. "Oh, joy," She thought to herself. She hated crowds, they always made her anxious. She pushed through sweaty, muscularly men, and women to find their favorite booth. It was their favorite booth, because they had their first date there one night after work. Unofficial first date.

"Ah, finally here." Spencer thought to herself as she plopped in the booth next to her girl.

"Spence, what took so long?" Her girlfriend asked.

"She hates crowds."

"How do you know?" Her girlfriend questioned her sister.

Spencer was slowly freaking out. She knew that voice. She knew that voice by heart. It couldn't be.

Spencer slowly looked up, "Ashley?"

"Ash-how do you-" Her sister put it together.

"Carmen, THIS IS THE GIRL YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH?" Ashley shouted.

"And THIS IS THE SPENCER THAT YOU WERE CRAZY IN LOVE WITH IN COLLEGE? WHO YOU CAME BACK TO WIN HER HEART?"

Spencer broke off a piece of bread from the basket took a bite, shrugged, "That's me."


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: thanks for the reviews people, much love. i appreciate you! and what you have to say. also, i know this chap is a little on the short side, sorry. i'll get the next one up asap. or try to at least. and as always...enjoy!**

Spencer continued to eat her piece of bread, seemingly unaffected. Honestly, Spencer wasn't sure how to react to the situation. So eating bread, while unspoken tension occurred at the table seemed like the best option.

Ashley didn't let the silence stay for long, "But you don't work around here Carmen. How are you two together?"

Carmen snapped back, "Well if you were EVER in town you would have known...I moved out of San Francisco and came back to LA because I had a better job offer."

"You said you were in town to visit me." Ashley stated. That is exactly what Carmen told her days ago. "You said you were bringing the girl that you've been telling me about for a year. The girl you loved." Ashley's voice started trailing off at the end, she could barely believe it herself.

Carmen snapped back, "I wanted it to be a surprise that I lived in LA again. I wanted to surprise you tonight... How the hell was I supposed to know that _this_ Spencer is **THE** Spencer?"

"**_THE _**Spencer?" Spencer chimed in. She suddenly was intrigued. Ashley thinks that she is the one?

"Yeah whatever. Well awesome I'm glad to meet your girlfriend Car. If that's all you wanted me to do, then I'm out. I've suddenly lost all appetite to eat." Ashley scooted her way out of the booth as she stared Spencer in the eyes the entire time. Spencer's eyes were about to well up with tears, as she continued to make direct eye contact.

Spencer badly wanted to stop her. She can't just be the girl who sits here and says nothing.

"I don't even know...so what you're going to try and steal her away from me?" Carmen questioned. She felt threatened.

Ashley scoffed. "You know what? I'm out." Ashley stood up in a hurry. She needed to get the hell out.

"Ash wait-" Spencer grabbed her bicep.

"Spencer? What are you doing?" Carmen questioned and grabbed Spencer's arm.

"What Spence?"

Spencer's mind was about to explode, "Stop both of you. Just stop. Look none of us expected this to happen tonight okay? Let's just sit down and figure out what the hell is going on here."

"There's nothing to figure out, Spence. You're my girlfriend and have been for the past year and half now."

Ashley rolled her eyes, "She's not a fucking possession, Carmen."

Spencer was still holding on to Ashley, like always. She was just starting up her friendship with Ashley again. She wasn't sure what was going on in her head anymore.

"Shut up Ashley. You don't get everything. Don't think about her, don't try and win her heart, because it's already mine." Carmen spoke. She was sounding like a bitch and it wasn't like her. But her and her sister always had some sort of sibling rivalry. The worst just came out in her when she was fighting with her. Carmen always felt that Ashley was better than her, she always got everything. The fame, the fortune, the men, the women, any god damn thing she wanted: she achieved. Carmen wouldn't let the one thing she loved go.

Ashley shook her head and slid out of Spencer's grip, "Look you know what? I was going to leave you two alone. But now, you know what Carmen? Best man wins. You're going to have to fight for Spencer. On that note, I'm out." Ashley turned her back to leave, but not before one last glance at Spencer-who happened to be directly looking in her eyes the entire time.

Spencer sat there in silence with her girlfriend. She wasn't sure how this would all pan out. Her heart didn't belong to anyone but herself. Sure she has dated Carmen for over a year, but love? She never said those words to Carmen directly because she honestly hasn't felt IN love with her. Maybe love, but not in love.

"Let's get out of here." Carmen said as she tried scooting Spencer out of the booth. Spencer was too wrapped up in her thoughts to hear Carmen let alone move. "Earth to Spence? Let's get the fuck out of here."

Spencer looked at her girlfriend, "Why are you talking to me like that? You never talk to me like that."

"I'm just so fucking upset and frustrated.. you don't even know the things Ashley said to me about you. And how much she wants to be with the girl she used to have a huge crush on back in college who she met recently and hung out with? So YEAH I'M A LITTLE UPSET." Carmen shouted the last part.

Spencer didn't want to be around her girlfriend when she looked like the incredible hulk. She was actually curious about what Ashley said about her. But it definitely was the wrong time to inquire about that. She sat there and kind of wished Carmen would of told her what Ashley said when she didn't know that her sister was Ashley. Spencer sat there as she confused herself. Spencer shrugged to herself, still sitting in the booth. She could feel Carmen staring at her.

"You know what? You can sit here. I'm leaving." Carmen hopped up on the table and darted out of there.

Spencer knew she had to at least run after her at this point. She caught up with her as she was sitting in the driver's seat ready to burn rubber. "Hey, what's your deal?" Spencer gave her a quizzical look.

"You're just so unaffected by this, it disgusts me." Carmen scoffed as she threw the car into reverse.

Spencer stood in the window still, halting her inevitable departure, "Look, I get you're upset. But whatever stop taking it out on me here. I didn't know any of this. Yeah I knew Ashley was back in town but that's cause she came into the emergency room. I'm sorry I hung out with her without telling you, but she's an old friend."

"Whatever. Find a ride home." Carmen darted out of the parking lot like no tomorrow.

"You're being a bitch right now!" Spencer shouted at Carmen as she squealed her tires out of the lot.

Spencer shrugged and started looking for the nearest bar. It was about time to get fucked up like it was a Sunday Funday. She had so much to digest and she didn't feel like it. The only thing she wanted to feel was the booze burning down her throat because of all the shots she was about to take. Spencer walked down the sidewalk and saw tons of neon signs hanging in window and immediately picked up her walking pace. She needed to get drunk pronto.

She sat her pretty little ass on a bar stool and ordered two shots and a beer.

"ID miss." The bartender said.

"Really? Come on. I'm a Doctor, I think I am fucking old enough to order a damn drink." Spencer said as she reached into her back pocket for her ID.

"Doctor? Right, and I'm a rocket scientist. You're too young-oh looks like you could be old enough to be a doctor. My bad."

"Exactly, 2 shots of cherry and a blue moon." Spencer said. She didn't feel like socializing she was getting down to the point.

The bartender smirked, "That's funny. A brunette walked in not too long before you and ordered the same exact thing."

Spencer looked swiftly-eyed, "Where is this said brunette?"

The bartender pointed at the other end of the bar, "there."

Spencer looked up at the girl that was currently holding her own shot up in the air at her, "Hey bartender don't let her pay for those put them on my tab."

Spencer smiled, held up her shot glass, "Cheers, Ash."


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: sorry for the delay in update. and sorry for the confusion in the character change, but it's better this way. i feel way better about my story now. if you see any names that don't match up please let me know ill get it fixed. if you're a new reader and are like wtf is she talking about just ignore this. but more importantly thanks for the feedback everyone and i hope it continues to come!**

**much love. enjoy.  
**

Spencer's head wouldn't stop pounding. The continuous hammering in her head with the combination of the light coming in from the bay window, finally woke her up. She kept her eyes closed tightly as she kept hearing the constant pounding in her head.

"Spencer!"

Spencer's face welled up with confusion. She did not know why her sudden pounding was turning into her name being shouted over and over again.

"Spencer! Spencer!" Followed by more loud pounding.

"Oh shit!" Spencer shouted to herself as her eyes flung open. She realized that the pounding in her head was not only that, but it was also someone pounding on the door.

"Spencer, I know you're in there!" Carmen continued to pound on the door. She wasn't leaving without an answer.

Spencer opened her eyes and wasn't sure what was going on. She looked up and all she saw was a kitchen table. "How the hell did I get under a kitchen table?" Spencer thought to herself as she rubbed her forehead, from the pounding headache.

She heard more pounding at the door and her name being shouted again. It startled her and she jumped. But when she jumped a bit she hit her head on the table she was somehow under. "Fuck." She murmured to herself. "Shut up shut up! I'm coming." Spencer didn't know where she was, why she was under a table, and who the hell was calling her name. She barely had her eyes open. She was hung over but she still felt drunk from the night before. She was barely functioning. Everything was still blurry and her head was pounding even harder as she walked to the front door.

"Spencer!" More pounding continued.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up." Spencer started mumbling to herself as she inched closer to the door.

More knocking and pounding continued, "Spence!"

"What?" She shouted as she flung it open.

"Fucking finally, Spencer?" Carmen gasped. "What are you wearing?"

Spencer shrugged, she barely knew where she was, she didn't bother checking her outfit or what she looked like. She didn't care. All she cared about was how the pounding was still occurring in her head, even though the pounding at the door had ceased. She looked down at her body.

Spencer wasn't wearing much of anything. She was in her underwear. She had her bra and boy shorts on, she had no clue where her clothes were and why she wasn't wearing any. She doesn't remember coming.. "Where am I?" She said aloud.

"You're at fucking Ashley's. Don't you even tell me you fucked her. Seriously?" Carmen shouted as she pushed her way through the doorway.

Spencer walked backwards as she was being shoved back into the house, "Oh right.' Spencer tried recalling last night. "Oh, that's right I did come back here." Spencer thought to herself. But she was clueless to why she didn't have clothes on.

"I fucking came here because I felt bad for leaving you in the parking lot. I came here because I wanted to apologize for acting like a crazy bitch. And here you are.. practically naked." Carmen waved around roses she had in her hands as she was shouting.

"Look there has to be a reason for this." Spencer winced out. Talking in a firm tone even hurt her head.

"You've got to be kidding me right?" Carmen pointed to Ashley on the floor under the kitchen table, without her shirt on.

Spencer felt like she was caught red-handed, but she knew she wouldn't have cheated. And if she did... she was more upset that she couldn't remember.

Ashley finally woke to all the shouting, "shut up!" She winced as her hung over head throbbed.

"Fuck you!" Carmen snarled back.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Ashley perked right up, it's not often she has someone yelling "fuck you!" at the top of their lungs first thing in the morning. She started laughing, "Spencer how did we get under-" Ashley stopped laughing and talking when she realized it wasn't funny when Carmen was glaring at her.

Spencer let out a smile, she couldn't help it. She really wanted to know what happened after the bar last night.

Carmen looked at Spencer in the eyes, "I can't fucking believe you." She huffed. "A few days of Ashley being back in town and you're already all over her just like everyone else in the god damn world?" Carmen shouted.

Spencer looked at her with her sad eyes, "Look, I know you're thinking the worst here. But I know in my heart I didn't do anything with her. Trust me." Spencer tried to reach out for her hands to console her, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Screw your trust." Carmen shook her head and stepped away from Spencer. She walked to the door and looked at everyone in the house. She couldn't believe the situation before her. She felt betrayed. She didn't know who to trust. Or what to think. All she knew, is what she saw. A half naked Ashley and a half naked Spencer. Eyes didn't lie, people did.

Carmen turned around and walked up to Spencer and slapped her across the face, "That's for making me worry all damn night when you didn't fucking come home." Carmen forcefully threw the roses at the half naked Spencer. The thorns of the roses got caught in her skin as she winced at the pain. "Fuck." Was the only word Spencer could manage to get out at the time.

Spencer rubbed her cheek, because she hit hard. "You left me in the parking lot!"

Carmen left the house. She heard what Spencer had shouted, but she didn't care. She knew what she just witnessed in the house. She felt betrayed and disgusted that the girl she loved was apparently having one night stands with her own flesh and blood.

Ashley ran up to Spencer to check to see if she was okay. "Hey you-"

"I'm fine." Spencer finished her sentence before she had to ask. Spencer rubbed her cheek a few more times, hoping it would somehow make the pain go away.

Ashley closed the door and looked at Spencer. She saw how amazing her body was and how her long blonde hair just fell in the perfect way. Ashley couldn't believe how beautiful Spencer looked, even if she looked hung over as hell. Ashley smiled as she looked Spencer's body up and down as she leaned against the closed door.

Suddenly Spencer felt naked. "What?" Spencer nervously laughed out.

Ashley smiled and shook her head, "Nothing."

Spencer smiled, "Nah, seriously what? Do I have a bruise already? Is it swelling?" Spencer started to look around for a mirror.

"I think the better question is, why we were under a table?" Ashley laughed out.

Spencer started to walk towards the area she woke up in, "And my clothes?"

Ashley didn't want to change that any time soon. The longer she got to stare at Spencer trot around her house in only her underwear the better. She didn't think it would be possible to see such a gorgeous girl walk around her house, she was mesmerized by her beauty.

Spencer sighed, "I got so drunk. I don't even know what happened last night. I want to figure this out before work."

Ashley got a sad look on her face, "You have to do that today? I was hoping we could go get food and cure this hangover together."

Spencer smiled, "Food will for surely happen, I just want to know why I'm half naked. Why I'm still half naked and why we woke up under the table?" Spencer walked to the table hoping to find some sort of clue to why.

Ashley smiled, "Well I don't want to change any of that soon."

"Ash..." Spencer sternly said.

"All right, all right. But so I used to get black out drunk all the time. And apparently it still happens. But when I always was drunk I had this system. I carried post it notes in my pocket all the time, I still do out of habit. And drunk me would write the shit that happened that I knew sober me wouldn't remember. It was this whole post it system my therapist told me to start." Ashley felt like she just solved a case. "Is this how Nancy Drew feels?" She thought to herself.

"So you think you did it last night?" Spencer prayed and hoped she would find a post it note that said "didn't sleep with Spencer." Because if she did actually sleep with Ashley, she would be most pissed about is not remembering something that hot and something she was looking forward to forever.

Ashley started looking around for post it's she would have stuck around the room. Back when she was on tour all the time she would always get so wasted she did not know her name. So she told her therapist about it and she suggested to start a post it system. Because sometimes she woke up in random hotel rooms with bottle everywhere and she hated not knowing. Instead of the therapist suggesting to stop drinking she decided to tell her to use post it's to remember. It was one of the celebrity therapists, she didn't care much.

"Ah ha! Ashley saw one of her yellow notes stuck to the table." Ashley peeled it off the table and it read, "Under the table b/c earthquake."

"Oooohh so that explains why we were under a table. We must of just passed the fuck out under there." Spencer thought out loud. "I wonder what time the earthquake was."

"At least we know we didn't have sex under the table. I was going to be pissed if I didn't remember." Ashley blurted out.

Spencer's face got red as she blushed. She was thinking the same thing, but she didn't know Ashley was thinking the same thing. She tried to hide her blushing face.

Ashley looked up and noticed Spencer's reaction to her statement. She knew Spencer was thinking the same exact thing.

"Keep looking." Spencer hurriedly said as she kept walking around the room in circles trying to find small yellow post-its.

"Ah ah! Another." Ashley shouted with one finger in the air. "This one reads. No clothes b/c peeps we brought home barfed on spencerrrrrrr. it was so gross."

Ashley giggled. Spencer suddenly felt disgusted.

"Who the hell did we bring home?" Spencer looked at Ashley.

Ashley shrugged. "Can't wait to find that post-it."

"Another one!" Ashley shouted.

"Why the hell can't I find any?" Spencer pouted and sat on the couch in defeat.

"This one says. Old friends stopped by from the tour. Got crazy. Watch for broken glass in bathroom." Ashley scoffed, "I hate tour people. They are always so destructive."

"So why is your shirt off?" Spencer questioned, "The note didn't say anything about barf on you." Spencer raised a brow.

Ashley shrugged, "Yeah, but drunk me wrote that. I was obviously disgusted chunks could of flown at me. It could of been one of those nasty projectile vomits where-"

Spencer held up her hand and one to her stomach, "Stop before I projectile vomit on your fucking face."

Ashley couldn't help but laugh. She kept searching the room. "I think we solved all the mysteries and found all the post-its. Oh wait." Ashley stopped her sentence.

"Did you find another?"

Ashley diverted her eye contact and shook her head as she said, "Nope."

Ashley smiled as she tucked one last post-it in her pocket that read, "You kissed Spencer."


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n: i need to be pushed to write sometimes. **

**just sayin. enjoy.**

Ashley wasn't sure what to do with her post-it note. She knew she couldn't hide it forever, but she was sure it wasn't time to share now. Ashley couldn't help but smile as she securely tucked it away in the front pocket of her jeans.

"Ashleeeeyy!" Spencer yelled from downstairs.

Ashley was so startled, she jumped and tucked the note deeper into her pocket she was positive she made a hole. "Give me a sec!" Ashley was putting on clothes and trying to find Spencer something clean to wear. She couldn't believe that Spencer was dating her own sister. What she couldn't believe even more was that she was out of reach to her. She loved her sister, there was no way she could break the two of them up. Ashley tucked her hair behind her ears, tilted her head as she looked in the mirror and smiled at the thought of the post-it note in her pocket.

"I gave you like ten fucking minutes," Spencer said as she barged into Ashley's room.

Ashley smirked, "Whatever, here." She threw a fresh pair of jeans and tee at her.

Spencer looked in her hands, "I can't wear this."

"Why not?" Ashley questioned.

"Have you looked at them?" Spencer held them both out in front of her in each other hands. She inspected them thoroughly.

Ashley starting to get a bit offended, "Uhh, I wear them.. soo yes I have seen them.."

Spencer shook her head and held them out, "Look I can't wear this!"

Ashley laughed, "What is your deal?"

"These jeans are like a size too small, have rips in them, and the shirt says 'naughty hottie.' So, I don't think this is appropriate to wear to work. I am a doctor and all." Spencer continued to hold out the clothes in front of her for Ashley to take.

Laughing Ashley shook her head and simply said, "No."

"What the hell, Ash. Come on. I refuse to wear this." Spencer pouted and threw the clothes at Ashley's face.

Ashley let the clothes hit her face and slide down her body. She stared at the clothes on the floor and looked up very slowly, "Well, that was rude. It's the only clean pair I am going to fetch for DOCTOR Spencer. So find your own."

Spencer walked closer and picked up the clothes off the floor, "Seriously I can't wear this to work. My patients would laugh at what I have under my lab coat!" Spencer held out the clothes again.

Ashley walked away.

Spencer followed her.

Ashley sped up her pace.

Spencer chased her.

Soon the two girls were running around Ashley's room fighting over what clothes Spencer could and couldn't wear. Spencer kept holding out the clothes and Ashley stood firm in not taking them back.

Ashley took out clothes from her dresser and started throwing shirts at Spencer shouting, "how 'bout this? or this one? this suitable enough? how 'bout this for the doctor?" Ashley continued to taunt her.

"Seriously Ash, I'm sorry if I offended you!" Spencer stated as she continued to hold the original two objects in her hands.

Ashley jumped on her bed with a hand full of clothes and tossed them all onto Spencer as she was standing on the floor. "There are some options."

Spencer just looked at Ashley. "Now you're going to get it." Spencer picked up all the clothes with all the strength she could muster up, jumped on top of the bed, and threw them all onto Ashley.

Ashley was buried under a pile of clothes and did not move. As more time elapsed with no movement Spencer started to feel guilty. She was afraid she somehow hurt her in the process of fooling around. With the original pair of jeans in her hand, Spencer crouched down, "Ash, you okay?" She peeked around the pile of clothes that lay upon Ashley. "Ash?"

Before Spencer could sprout out another word Ashley grabbed the pair of jeans in Spencer's hand and tugged. All the momentum Spencer was not prepared for forced her to fall forward right on top of Ashley.

"Gotcha." Ashley smirked as she lay under the clothes and under Spencer.

Spencer let out a light laugh, "Not funny."

"I think it was."

Spencer got up and shoved the clothes off of Ashley and onto the floor, "I thought you were seriously hurt!"

Ashley slowly got up, but lost her footing and fell on top of Spencer. Spencer was forced to lie on her back, still gripping the jeans in her hands. Ashley smiled as she suddenly realized how close she and Spencer were. "I could have been hurt, but I feel better now," Ashley stated.

Spencer laid there, breathing heavy, kind of beat from the mini work out session they just accomplished by running around with clothes. Spencer looked at Ashley in the eyes and suddenly realized they were touching. They're body s were resting on one another and skin was touching. Spencer still was half naked and suddenly felt exposed, but not wanting to move. Spencer's breathing continued to speed up. Her heart started racing as she continued to realize where she was, who was laying on top of her, the smell of Ashley's hair, she was noticing so much in such a little time.

Ashley smiled at Spencer. She thought she felt Spencer's heart racing fast, but it could have been her own. She was not moving unless Spencer asked her to. She was enjoying the warmth of the blonde's body, the way she looked confused laying beneath her, the way she moved her body the slightest bit, but then would stiffen up because she didn't want to ruin the moment. Ashley was not going to say anything until Spencer did. It was taking the world for her not to rush onto Spencer's lips at this very moment and kiss them. She looked deep and hard into Spencer's eyes; just looking for the right blink, the right breath, the right sigh, to tell Ashley it's okay you can kiss Spencer.

Ashley leaned in and waited. Spencer didn't say a word, didn't blink-it's got to be okay to kiss her- she thought to herself. Ashley kept going and as her lips brushed Spencer's, Spencer pulled away. "Ash-"

Ashley hopped off the bed, "Yeah I know. I just thought-"

Spencer cut her off, "I was thinking the same thing."

Ashley's head poked up with surprise. "Really?"

Spencer put her head down in shame, "Yeah, that's why I had to stop. I'm committed to your sister right now. As hard as that is to say in this moment Ash, I'm with her." Spencer tried to say that convincingly.

Ashley let out a sigh and shook her head, "I get it." Ashley moped to the entrance of her bedroom door, "There are clothes in the closet, I'll be waiting on the couch for you, and so I can take you to the hospital." Ashley let out an i'm-okay-with-this-relationship-smile and left the room.

Ashley walked down the steps and felt the yellow post-it moving in her pocket with each step. She didn't feel like moping anymore. She knew she had a chance with Spencer, she just knew it. It would only take time for her to realize that. But then she got sad again. Usually in a situation when she wanted the girl that was taken, she would have her. But she couldn't break up the most meaningful relationship that her sister ever had, now can she? Ashley plopped the couch with defeat. Ashley peered around the corner to make sure Spencer was nowhere in sight. She reached down into her pocket and pried out the yellow note to read again. "You kissed Spencer." She smiled at the thought of their lips kissing each other's and how she'd give anything to have it that way again. She heard footsteps coming down and as she was trying to fumble to put back the yellow post-it in her pocket she saw writing on the back. She quickly glanced at it and smiled even more. Ashley darted up from her seat and stood by the door for Spencer.

_Oh Spencer Carlin, you are so mine._


End file.
